ALONE AGAIN...I'M NOT SOBER...1 YEAR OLDER


Well, technically I am sober. Unfortunately, I do find myself alone though...but that's a line from Kev Brown and I thought I'd bite it since it fit my situation right about now. You just get to those points in life where you get all contemplative and shit. And the last couple of years, I've come to find, it seems to spring up on (or around) my birthday.

It's funny how the years just fly by. At this point in my life, they've all become a blur...one just seems to blend into the next. But it's all in how old you feel, and I honestly don't feel my age. Maybe that's a bad thing...

I still feel like I have so much accomplish and alot to look forward to. A few years ago I would have said that I knew pretty much the direction that my life was goin' in. But life has a cruel way of throwin' some curve balls at you. I've come to learn that the saying "Never say never" is VERY true. Sometimes you just don't know where life is gonna take you.

I feel sometimes like the people around me expect more out of me. And I don't blame them one bit. I look at the things I've done (or haven't done) and I'll admit that I should probably find myself in a different situation than the one I'm in. But I hate using the word "regret" and I honestly don't "regret" anything I've done up to this point in life. Could I have done certain things differently? OF COURSE. But although everybody don't like me, I think that I'm a good person at heart and I wouldn't be who I am if my road would have taken a different direction. Besides, some people just don't know how to appreciate me :)

Some people are just late bloomers, and I think I fit that category perfectly. I really don't care what certain people expect of me. I know in my heart what I'm capable of and I'm gonna do everything to make those hopes and dreams come to fruition. Like LMNO said, "I take my time...I don't let time take me."

I got so much on my plate right now...so many ideas that I want to make reality...so many projects that I put on hold for one reason or another. I really, sincerely feel rejuvenated right now. I have so much that I want to do and I feel like I have my whole life still in front of me, and it doesn't matter to me that I'm gettin' around to 'em this late in life. That's partly why I still feel so young. It's all about how old you feel on the inside.

I sincerely feel that it's never too late in life. I look up to my father more than just about anybody on this planet. If I could be half the man he is, I'll be alright. He's one of the funniest and most intelligent persons you could ever hope to meet. And he just recently took care of some issues that he had with himself...it made me so proud to see him pull himself up and handle his business. The only person that ever held him back was himself, but he stuck with it and he's doin' fine now.

So I asked myself, "Why can't I do the same?" I can...and I will.

I know I said to never say "never" earlier, but......

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.


-Rm