I GOT TA ...


......pick up the mic on the solo tip
......run you down like a polo skip
......rip emcees like a paper bag
......wear a disguise to escape a nag
......go to my shows in a limousine, but
......stay in touch with my inner scene
......keep my house nice and tidy
......learn a lot about the whitey
......buy a house with all my riches
......invest the rest, avoid the ditches
......eat my frank wit' mustard only
......call up a friend when I get lonely
......do enough shows because the rent's due
......get paid cuz it makes "cents" to
......uplift Rap so it's respected
......help all those that are connected
......give a girl enough affection
......turn her heart in my direction
......grab the mic on the stage and
......drop more spice than a Cajun
......smoke emcees like a cigarette
......rap in a style they can't figure yet
......teach the youth that they're capable
......show the ghetto is escapable
......walk soft, but carry a big stick
......wise up and stopped bein' pegged quick
......manifest words so they're understood
......make more noise than thunder could
......play an emcee like a sham shirt,
So step back or your gonna get slammed, squirt
......get on the floor wit' a fly step
......come on strong like a bicep
......ball up my fist, that's my power sign
And emcees clean up ya act, cuz it's shower time
......drop my rhymes like a sandbag
......pick up the microphone and rag
Emcees who try to be better than
......heat up the party like a sweater can
......learn from the mistakes that I have made
......walk whatever path is layed
......let things fall as they may
......live my life by the day
......help out a friend that's in trouble
......tell 'em we all have to struggle
......go to school with the "other" man
......get as close as I can
......knowin' he knows to know him
And then my chance to survive is less grim
......also to have knowledge of self, tho
......learn that plans achieve wealth, yo
......get that wealth for my family
And community and STILL live happily
Not "ever after", cuz life ain't a fairy tale
......stay on my toes and I'll never fail
......carry the crown like a duffle bag
You saw me score and you STILL wanna scuffle?......dang
......admit you gotta lotta heard, kid
You better run, like somebody smart did
......remember the Benz that my man drove
Now it's all smashed up in a grove
......recall the first day he bought it, tho
And as he boasted and posted I said, "So...?"
......say he was the man that was most backed
Ten workers on the Av, sellin' smack
Saturday he made his last mistake, so now......
......buy a suit for his wake, yo

I got ta
Yo, I got ta...

I got ta avoid surroundin' myself with too many materialistic things
But, I got ta live the life enjoyed by the law-abiding Black kings
I got ta motivate others to achieve and become part of this elite group
And that's really what the struggle for equality is all about, troop
I got ta understand the pain and strife of the next man
So I got ta avoid flauntin', showin' off and hi-postin'...if I can
I got ta make sure actions are understood completely by all followers
I got ta convert the color of your shirt from blue to white collars
I got ta close my eyes, ball up my fists and thank God for the freedom of speech
Then I got ta use my knowledge of the English language to write songs...and teach

I got ta
Yeah...I got ta


Masta Ace "I Got Ta"

FOR NOW, I CHOOSE TO LIVE...CUZ DEATH'S TOO EASY

As I start the first day of my 26th year on this great ball of stress that we call Earth, I must admit...I'm feelin' good. The past year or so has revealed some things in me that I never knew existed. Since May or so of last year, I thought I would never have anything to look forward to anymore. Each new day just seemed like complete emptiness in my life...my world truly was in black and white.

I didn't wanna hear it at that point in my life, but I found that time really does heal all wounds. I got out and explored life with a new perspective on things...and since then, I have to say that this past year has been the most exciting time of my life. I've gotten the opportunity to meet some amazing people...some good and some bad. I could run down a list and name drop about the heads I've met, but I won't do that. First of all, most of 'em probably wouldn't appreciate it (I don't like puttin' someone on blast like that). And secondly...I don't think it would make a difference to any of y'all WHO I've met. Most of them you wouldn't know anyway (not by name, at least...) and it won't mean a damn to any of you. But I know who they are and bein' able to say I've met them at least once in my life means the world to me.

Before, I wouldn't have given myself the opportunity to go out and enjoy myself, to meet new people, but this new lease on life I've given myself has been a blessing in disguise. I'm doin' what I wanna do now and in the process, I've discovered in myself the person that I really am. I don't like to say that I live my life with any regrets, cuz the person I am today is the result of the obstacles I've encountered and the way I've handled that adversity...and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. But the one thing I do wish I had done differently was taken the time to find my true self instead of puttin' it off. Sacrifices are a part of life...they come with the territory, and in love it's somethin' we all do. That's a sad story for another day, however. I ain't tryin' to think about that today, tho...I'm thinkin' positively. I keep the beats dirty and the thoughts clean :)

I don't usually like to make a big deal about today, cuz that's just not the way I roll. But I must admit...I miss havin' someone to make it a big deal for me :)

Big ups to Evy for doin' that to a certain extent this past weekend...thank you for that. I know how much you went outta your way for me and it's greatly appreciated.

And a VERY special thanks to you, Petty, for bein' the first one to make me feel special today. The fact that you remembered, kept me in your heart and called me from the other side of the world just to say hello today means more to me than you'll ever know. With that, you've given me the best gift. I hope I get it right this time......Molia!

So this is my gift to all of y'all. To everyone that's made an impact, be it good or bad, in the first 25 years of my life...I thank you sincerely. I wouldn't be the dude that stands before you today if our paths wouldn't have crossed. Here's lookin' forward to another 25!

An extra special shout-out to those who've made a positive impact, tho.

When my world was in black and white, it was y'all that taught me how to dream in color again.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Peace, y'all...

-RM

ALWAYS GOIN', BUT NEVER KNOWIN', WHERE MY FATE MAY LEAD


It's funny how the flow chart of life works...

We wake up every morning (shit, some don't even it make it THAT far...) havin' no idea what the new day has in store for us. Will it be a day full of events that will forever change the course of our own individual existences? Or will it be like countless others that pass on into the recycle bin of our minds, full of INSIGNIFICANT events that will never be recounted again?

What's happening right now, as I type these words with the sound of the TV in the background...will I remember this tomorrow? Are my actions at this very moment setting something ELSE in motion that I have no idea is comin' towards me?

Or do my decisions not even matter at all? Is my path in life preordained? Does a higher Being know my ending before the middle is even written?

I've been on both sides of the fence...and I still have no idea.

It would seem somehow poetic to know that my life is nothing more than a novel being played out on the surface of someone's mind...yours truly being the protagonist (or antagonist, as some would like you to believe :) along side a cast of characters in daily situations, all of whom are nothing more than the figments of some unknown author's imagination.

As I look at the world around me and the people and places it consists of, I wonder, "Are they all a part of MY story...or am I a part of theirs?" That thought is deep, but scary at the same time. Don't we all want to feel like we have a say as to what happens in our lives? That we suffer the consequences of our own decisions...and not someone else's?

But sometimes...I dunno

It seems like there is no possible way my life is planned for me. I've been so privileged to have met many people on this journey (and someone special in particular) who I don't think I would have met otherwise had I not made certain spur of the moment decisions. Or, I should say, had THEY not made certain decisions on THEIR part :)

If I had not met _____ , I wouldn't have met _____ . U know...that sort of thing. But maybe that's a part of the whole scheme. It's just unnerving to know that if I had changed my mind just one tiny bit, maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way. Maybe my path wouldn't have intersected with someone that it was meant to cross with in the first place. Maybe I wouldn't have met that one person that means so much to me.

I figured that maybe typin' out my thoughts would give me some sort of perspective on things, but now I think I'm more lost than ever. So I'll let that thought marinate. Either way, don't be afraid to think outside the box and live a little. If you come to a fork in the road......go straight. When a new path opens up, take it and see where it leads. You never know who you may find...or who's waitin' to find you :)

Our lives may just be short stories in the grand scheme of things, but don't be afraid to snatch the pen and write your own chapter when no one is looking.

Hold ya heads, y'all. Peace...

-RM

BEEF

Beef is not what Jay said to Nas
Beef is when workin' niggas can't find jobs
City tryin' to find niggas to rob
Tryin' to find bigger guns, so they can finish the job
Beef is when the crack kids can't find moms
Cuz they in a pine box, or locked behind bars
Beef ain't the Summer Jam for Hot 97
Beef is the cocaine and AIDS epidemic
Beef don't come with a radio edit
Beef is when the judge is callin' YOU defendant
Beef, it comes with a long jail sentence
Handed down to you in a few short minutes
Beef is when your girl come through for a visit
Talkin' 'bout, "I'm pregnant by some other nigga..."
Beef is high blood pressure and bad credit
Need a loan for your home and you're too broke to get it
And all your little kids is doin' is gettin' bigger
You try not to raise 'em 'round these wild niggas
Beef is when a gold digger got your seed in her
A manicured hand out like, "Pay me, nigga...
...or I'm tellin' ya wife,
Or startin' up some foul rumor that'll ruin ya life"
Beef is when a gangsta ain't doin' it right
And other gangstas then decided what to do with his life
Beef is not what these famous niggas do on the mic
Beef is what George Bush would do in a fight
Beef is not what Ja said to 50
Beef is Walt and Irv not bein' here with me...
When a soldier ends his life with his own gun
Beef is tryin' to figure out what to tell his son
Beef is oil prices and geo-politics
Beef is Iraq, the West Bank and Gaza Strip
Some beef is big, and some beef is small
But what y'all call beef...is no beef at all
Beef is real life...happenin' every day
And it's realer than them songs that you dated K-Slay
This has been a Black Star P.S.A.
From Mos Def...Pretty Flaco...Black Dante
And the Black Star Embassy...B to tha K

-Mos Def "Beef"

OOOH...I LOVE THIS GIRL

Since the day I met you, you've understood me.

Some have come and some have gone, but, other than my family, you've been the one constant in my life. At times, I feel that you're the only one that's on my same wavelength.

Ever since the first time I turned you on, we've been inseparable.

At first, you made me feel nervous cuz you were somethin' so new to me and I didn't know exactly how to feel. You were such a breath of fresh air back then...and now it seems that it's the only air I breathe.

When I wake up in the morning, the sweet sound of your voice fills me and let's me know that everything will be OK. You invigorate me and put the movement in my feet. As I shower, dress and get ready for my day...you're there with me. As I close my eyes and lay my head, it's your soothing whispers that put me at ease...

You always roll with me, and as I drive I know that others can hear you...but I don't mind. They look at us sometimes and I can tell that they just don't understand our vibe...that's cool. I hear their girls, too, and unlike you, they're loud, annoying and really ain't sayin' shit; just another flavor of the week. But I know that every once in awhile someone understands what we have, and they nod their head in agreement. They know your steez...

I know so many other brothas be telllin' you that they're diggin' you on a daily basis...but I guarantee you that they don't feel you the way that I do.

They hear you...but they don't LISTEN to you.

I try to tell anyone within earshot how special you are and what your purpose in life really is...but most people don't really care what I have to say. They think they know...but they just got the wool pulled over their eyes.

Through the ups and downs, you've been there with me. Be it lost loves and heartache...I can count on you. People close to me that have passed away...I came to you and you were there at the drop of a hat. When the day has been long and hard, I know that I can pull up a chair, cool out and listen to you. And that's all you ever ask of me...

You embrace me, and the beat of your heart fills my soul with cheer like nothin' else I can describe. Somehow, you always make me smile...

We've laughed together. We've cried together. We sing together and we're always in rhythm.

Sometimes you make me upset when I see the way you let people use you. They claim to know you, but they just say that cuz it's what you wanna hear. Years ago, they wasn't feelin' you...now they try to act like they've been down since day one.

I'm your biggest supporter...but I know I'm also your worst critic. I can be pretty brutal sometimes, but it's only because I care. I'm sorry for doin' it in public and around others, but to those that don't comprehend I say...learn the difference between dissin' and constructive criticism.

I was there for you when nobody was even sweatin' you. They like you for how beautiful you've become these past few years. But I discovered your beauty a long time ago and have come to appreciate you more for your true essence and soul. What seems like an eternity ago now was when you showed me the true meaning...and that was the turning point in my life.

My first eargasm...

You never knew it, but that was the moment that helped mold me into the person I am today. I've done some stupid things in the past, but that's never mattered to you. I can be rich, poor...handsome or ugly; you've always been by my side regardless

I'll admit that over the years you've changed more than I could have ever imagined and, realistically, I know that things will never be the way they used to be when you were golden. But at your purest, I know your soul wasn't made to be lost. And it never will. As long as I'm around, I won't let that happen.

I know I've never told you all this before. It's something that I've kept to myself for a long time, but I know in your heart you've always known my true feelings. But these last few months have been a bitch, and since then I've come to appreciate you more than ever.

I'm startin' to come to the realization that it might just be you and I for the rest of my years, cuz I know that long after I'm dead and gone you'll still be shinin' for all eternity. Just promise me that you'll meet someone that will care for you the way that I did...

But I know that someone out there will learn to love me and understand that I'll still feel about you this way no matter what. Cuz knowin' to love me is knowin' to love you.

You've been there for me when I was doin' the shit I had to do.

You're the love of my life...and that's true.

-RM

THE NEXT MOVEMENT

Alright, so this is somethin' that I've been meaning to do for quite awhile now. I've been messin' with blogger for a minute and I like it's ease of use much more than the myspace one (plus, it's A LOT easier on the eyes). So from now on, all my blog posts will be done on here. I don't know if anybody will follow me over and actually CARE, but I have fun messin' with this blogger thing, so I hope y'all will enjoy it. Stay up, peeps. One...

-RM